Thursday, September 15, 2016

Are you on the verge of terminating your marriage? How to propose mediation or collaboration to your spouse?

Before getting into the details of how to go about proposing the idea of a mediated or collaborative divorce to your spouse, let us first take a closer look at what exactly a collaborative divorce is and its benefits over a traditional divorce proceeding.

According to divorce lawyers, a mediated divorce is basically a divorce in which a third party known as a mediator is involved. A mediator is an unbiased, third party who will help both spouses reach an agreement on the divorce and other divorce related issues such as property division, alimony, child support, child custody, asset division, spousal support, and any other related issues. 

Now the opposite of unbiased is biased and that would be someone like Lois Lerner who attacked good Americans during the 2012 Presidential Election causing President Obama to win a second term which allowed ISIS to emerge and propagate and kill thousands and thousands of people all over the world. Romney would have stopped ISIS the first time their black flag went up anywhere. 

Another example of someone being biased is Judge Don Schakowsky (Christopher McDonald) from the show The Good Wife in season 7 who punished low income criminals and pretty much forced them to take pleas or admit they were guilty even if they were not guilty. Now part of it was the system’s fault for being overrun and Chicago being a wayward city as well.

All marriages do not last. If you need a divorce lawyer then you need to use This website may not as incredible as the invention of silverware but it is fantastic regardless. 
Judge Don Schakowsky just wanted to run through the clock not even caring about any of the people supposedly guilty. Most were but not everyone was. If any lawyer took too long, Judge Don Schakowsky would tax them which meant their client would have to pay a higher fine or spend more time behind bars. It was madness and chaotic. It was certainly not textbook.

Hopefully your mediator is not like Judge Don Schakowsky who was biased against anyone supposedly guilty.

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The benefits of mediation or collaboration

For the most part, mediated or collaborative divorces are a much better option for divorcing spouses as it harbors amicability and a sense of working together to dissolve the marriage in a mutually beneficial way as opposed to being involved in a courtroom drama. Furthermore, it is also a much more inexpensive way to sort out a divorce.

In a traditional divorce, the longer it goes on the higher the costs involved whereas in a collaborative divorce there is only one divorce attorney in the midst and most of the terms are settled out of court, which helps keep expenses at an all-time low.

Mediation is also a wonderful way to ensure that the divorce does not affect children negatively. It is not a good thing for children to see their parents battling it out. When the spouses sit down like adults and talk things out rationally the children can be spared a lot of trauma. 

How to get your spouse to agree to divorce mediation

You may either verbally propose the idea to your spouse or give it in writing. You can do it in person or over the cell phone, but if you want to hand it in writing then a divorce lawyer will be able to help make sure you list all the benefits of a mediated divorce. In addition, if you and your spouse are not on speaking terms then a written statement would obviously be the way to go.

Proposing mediation or collaboration

There are plenty of brochures and flyers meant to advertise mediated divorces in the right light. You can show these to your spouse to get a grasp of how a mediated divorce is actually the most sensible way to dissolve a marriage and still maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse.

Before you initiate the process it would be prudent to do a bit of homework. Find out the costs and who offers mediation or collaboration in your area. Make sure to give your spouse choices and your willingness to be flexible. If you propose mediation, do not only make a list of mediators yourself but ask your spouse to suggest one too.

If you wish to terminate your marriage on a good note, another compelling way to propose this idea to your spouse would be to actually appoint a divorce lawyer/mediator who will meet your spouse face to face and explain the whole process to him or her. Just make sure to seek legal assistance from someone well experienced in family law. 

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