Before getting into the details of how to
go about proposing the idea of a mediated or collaborative divorce to your
spouse, let us first take a closer look at what exactly a collaborative divorce
is and its benefits over a traditional divorce proceeding.
According to divorce lawyers, a mediated
divorce is basically a divorce in which a third party known as a mediator is
involved. A mediator is an unbiased, third party who will help both spouses
reach an agreement on the divorce and other divorce related issues such as
property division, alimony, child support, child custody, asset division,
spousal support, and any other related issues.
Now the opposite of unbiased is biased
and that would be someone like Lois Lerner who attacked good Americans during
the 2012 Presidential Election causing President Obama to win a second term
which allowed ISIS to emerge and propagate and kill thousands and thousands of
people all over the world. Romney would have stopped ISIS the first time their black flag went up anywhere.
Another example of someone being biased
is Judge Don Schakowsky (Christopher McDonald) from the show The Good Wife in
season 7 who punished low income criminals and pretty much forced them to take
pleas or admit they were guilty even if they were not guilty. Now part of it was
the system’s fault for being overrun and Chicago being a wayward city as well.
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Judge Don Schakowsky just wanted to run
through the clock not even caring about any of the people supposedly guilty.
Most were but not everyone was. If any lawyer took too long, Judge Don
Schakowsky would tax them which meant their client would have to pay a higher
fine or spend more time behind bars. It was madness and chaotic. It was
certainly not textbook.
Hopefully your mediator is not like Judge
Don Schakowsky who was biased against anyone supposedly guilty.
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@ Divorce.USAttorneys.com. Legal help can be
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The
benefits of mediation or collaboration
For the most part, mediated or
collaborative divorces are a much better option for divorcing spouses as it
harbors amicability and a sense of working together to dissolve the marriage in
a mutually beneficial way as opposed to being involved in a courtroom drama.
Furthermore, it is also a much more inexpensive way to sort out a divorce.
In a traditional divorce, the longer it
goes on the higher the costs involved whereas in a collaborative divorce there
is only one divorce attorney in the midst and most of the terms are settled out
of court, which helps keep expenses at an all-time low.
Mediation is also a wonderful way to
ensure that the divorce does not affect children negatively. It is not a good
thing for children to see their parents battling it out. When the spouses sit
down like adults and talk things out rationally the children can be spared a
lot of trauma.
How
to get your spouse to agree to divorce mediation
You may either verbally propose the idea
to your spouse or give it in writing. You can do it in person or over the cell
phone, but if you want to hand it in writing then a divorce lawyer will be able
to help make sure you list all the benefits of a mediated divorce. In addition,
if you and your spouse are not on speaking terms then a written statement would
obviously be the way to go.
Proposing
mediation or collaboration
There are plenty of brochures and flyers
meant to advertise mediated divorces in the right light. You can show these to
your spouse to get a grasp of how a mediated divorce is actually the most
sensible way to dissolve a marriage and still maintain a healthy relationship
with your spouse.
Before you initiate the process it would
be prudent to do a bit of homework. Find out the costs and who offers mediation
or collaboration in your area. Make sure to give your spouse choices and your
willingness to be flexible. If you propose mediation, do not only make a list
of mediators yourself but ask your spouse to suggest one too.
If you wish to terminate
your marriage on a good note, another compelling way to propose this
idea to your spouse would be to actually appoint a divorce lawyer/mediator who
will meet your spouse face to face and explain the whole process to him or her.
Just make sure to seek legal assistance from someone well experienced in family
law.
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